First of all, read through your writing and fix any obvious inconsistencies. Make sure that the dialogues are believable. Saying the dialogues out loud may be helpful. Add in details to make the story more vivid.
A helpful tip is to have someone read your writing. Yes, it is hard sometimes... but it's a must. Ask them for constructive criticism. Take note on what they say. If all or most who read your story tend to criticize on an aspect of the story, change it. Ask as many people as you like- the more, the better!
Also, if you are targeting your story to elementary school kids, it's a good idea to have a kid in that age group to read it. It's also good for an adult to read it because they may notice errors that an elementary school kid usually do not.
This process may take many months. So good luck!
-The Nocturnal Writer
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